Nomad Entertainment: Part 2

One of the great things I've enjoyed is the bewildering array of arrangements fellow campers use to disguise or advertise they going to the dunny. For this episode I'll keep my comments to the bare essential of toilet paper and the various methods of transport. If you want to "roll" around you can.

The seasoned traveler simply grabs the roll and heads off. The less seasoned are much more circumspect. They choose to put the offending article up their sleeve, in a pocket, or as I used to do under my track suit top. In these hot climes this actually draws more attention to your mission than anything. Now I simply carry it in my left hand and off I go. Makes quite a spectacle with these massive economy rolls they have now days.

Popular among the women is to tear off the required amount, put it in a pocket and away they go. How do they know the required amount? Lyn assures me there is always an emergency strip in another pocket should it be needed. The lengths to which some people will go!

At our last free camp I noted one individual was really upmarket with a carton of boxed tissues.

My favourite was the lady who had threaded the roll onto a wire coat hanger and invited everyone to admire her handbag. Not a silly as it seems, because as she said, the hook allowed her to hang it up rather than sit it in the floor.

Excellent entertainment is to watch others arrive in camp. Once a site has been determined, (by she who must be obeyed) her ladyship will take off for the amenities. Experienced, she soon establishes what’s available and what is not. His lordship is left to complete setting up, then it's his turn to visit the little green chalet.

Best of all is when the Mr Smug comes flying into camp with his brand new 4x4 pulling an off-road camper-trailer determined to create an impression of "I've been everywhere man". Dust goes every which way much to the disgust of all who have already set up. Out piles mum and the kids who immediately take off for the toilets. Dad unfolds his palatial home-away-from-home. Not satisfied with his already show of "look at me", it’s now "watch me'!

When mum and the kids get back it's dad's turn for the dunny. Away he heads, swaggering towards the rest room. Then disaster strikes and he gets his "cum-uppence". Mum realises dad needs a toilet roll! She grabs it, hands it too the little girl to run after dad and give it to him. 'Cept the youngster screams at the top of her voice; "Dad, Dad, you've left the dunny paper behind."

Suddenly it dawns on dad, it's his daughter shouting and she means business. By which time he's gone red in the face and one can sense his embarrassment. His purposeful stride slows to a crawl, and stops. Humiliation for Mr Smug.

Smiles of satisfaction creep over the dusty who were subjected to Mr Smug's earlier arrival. The beer will taste even better tonight!  

 [Written by John ....!]